Day 16 10:46PM

I'm not going to lie - weekends have me confused. By name alone they mark the end of the week, and by extension the time when most people work. Hence they are usually filled with justified merriment - sleeping in late, margaritas by the pool, three-state bank robbing sprees. But when you are unemployed they are just another day - albeit one in which your friends with jobs are around and want to do things that cost money to celebrate their time away from work. So thank you unemployment, you've now ruined weekends for me as well.

On the plus side Bryce Decker from Executive Search Online saw my resume online and wanted to know am I still in the market for either a professional or executive job? My resume indicates that they may have openings at Executive Search Online that are appropriate to consider. However, if I am interested, they need some added information. In case you were unaware, Executive Search Online enjoys a growing reputation in executive circles as the fastest growing recruiting service. Their clients include a mixture of small and large firms, growth companies, and Fortune 1,000 corporations. They deal only in professional and executive openings. Given that they chose my resume out of thousands online I'm sure this unemployment thing won't last very long at all. So I got that going for me, which is nice...

Employed Dave vs. Let Go Dave: After our BBQ yesterday there was cleaning up to be done. Out of all the food there was just two pieces of chicken left and some people suggested we give it to the dog. Employed Dave would have been totally on board with this idea, as anything that pleases animals and curries favor with their owners is A-OK with him; Let Go Dave put the kibosh on that suggestion immediately (hey, I bought the chicken). Of course I ate one piece when I got home last night at 2AM but still, it's the principle behind it.

Day 14 1:56PM

Is anything more depressing than taking 2+ hours to tweak your resume and cover letter and answer questions like "what is your ideal work environment" and "what are some professional highlights" for a job you don't really want and know you are not qualified to get? I could've spent that time doing productive things like search for a job I am marginally qualified for or shop for Ramen and cans of beans. I think I would appreciate it more if Monster had filtering software that would ask me "Are you sure about this? This job is asking for CPG experience and while I am sure it was a wonderful time of your life, doing Advertising and Marketing for a record release isn't really the same thing" before I got too pot-committed. Can we get some IT people on this?

Day 14 12:28AM

A moment of clarity and terror...

A friend from my prior employer was over for beer tonight and we were talking about the state of my union. I mentioned a job opening back in New York that is my dream position and he immediately knew what I was talking about because his friend in Chicago had applied and has an interview, despite no prior experience in the field and no real interest in the job. This tiny bit of information brought the stunning reality of my situation into all-too-clear focus: this is going to be a LOT harder than I have allowed myself to believe.

Day 13 11:36AM

I recently decided that I truly hate the term "hiring freeze." I feel like it is corporate jargon initially created by marketers (bless their souls) in the corporate HR department of a place like Unilever or Digitas to justify working their people harder with less headcount only it then mutated into a word that people now use when they don't feel like submitting your resume to HR. Also, there's never the opposite of a "hiring freeze;" I've never heard someone say that Company X is going on a "hiring binge" or a "hiring spree."

And to my post earlier regarding midnight being 12AM not 12PM, this is exactly why I find it confusing. I am writing this at 11:51AM but it is almost 12 hours after my last post. 11 is less than 12 so I feel like noon should be 12AM before starting PM at 1. This all makes sense in my head.

Day 13 12:31AM

I think the most important aspect of this post is the personal recognition that 12 midnight is AM not PM, knowledge I have NEVER been able to retain. For those that know me at all, this is a watershed moment. I may finally retain the knowledge that 12AM starts the new day... now 12 noon I make no promises about.

I'd also like to acknowledge what I feel will be an on-going source of entertainment: Employed Dave vs. Let Go Dave (like Betty vs. Veronica in Archie or Kate Hudson vs. Anne Hathaway in the movie that shredded my soul). Once I got home tonight there wasn't anything to eat. Let Go Dave was willing (I'd say happy) to eat a spoonful of peanut butter to satisfy the hunger pangs pre-bed; Employed Dave would have needed a carrot or pretzel to make the protein go down. Let Go Dave is gonna keep it REAL.

Now I have to trick myself to sleep via wine or Ambien like a Golden Retriever getting his heart meds in a spoonful of said peanut butter...

Day 12 10:00AM

I woke up today with the same pit of anxiety I've had every morning since "The Event." Why is it when I am gainfully employed my body can will me to sleep until noon but when I have absolutely nothing to do it wakes me at the same time day laborers and newborns get up? There seems to be something unjust in that.

I see in my Gmail the lovely morning hello from my friend Indeed.com. Despite their cheery claims that there are 352 new jobs posted in my tightly restricted Job Alert (Marketing, NY, NY) I think only 7 are actually ones that I haven't seen multiple times before; they may need to tighten up their definition of "new." I must admit though, CyberCoders is starting to break me down with their constant presence in my life; I just wish they had a more non-IT friendly name. Right now I feel like a successful interview with them would entail me knowing the name of the computer in War Games (WOPR) and detailing the amount of hours I log onto Worlds of Warcraft per week (zero).

Senior Marketing Manager at Wal-Mart... hmmm. Is it too early to trade my soul for a job?