Day 105 10:24AM

For those that actually read this, I apologize. For some reason suburban life can particularly busy though if you asked me to say why I'd have no response. Maybe it's all the errands. Or this nasty little meth habit I picked up...

Anyway, going through my morning routine of searching for jobs I thought it might be fun for all of us to take a look at what's out there:
Assistant Marketing Manager - Duane Reade - Things I will NEVER associate with anyone working for Duane Reade "exceptional communication and interpersonal skills," "Strong organization skills," and "Ability to perform in a fast-paced environment and manage timelines" (or any lines at all).
Marketing Manager - Stamps.com - I'm not sure which job I would brag about less - this one or the one above it. At least Duane Reade sells DVDs and Kettle Chips.
Game Night Internerships, Marketing - The LA Clippers - At the end of the internship you get the GM position, or Point Guard.
Marketing Analyst - The Law Offices of Jerry Kaufman - "Research market conditions, do statistical analysis, prepare forecasts"... Jerry strikes me as the type of guy that wishes he'd gotten an MBA rather than a law degree and now wants someone around the office to talk "MBA stuff" despite the information being completely useless.
Marketing Manager - Intuit - Every time I see I a job at Intuit I giggle because I think it says Inuit. That ultimately leads to me thinking about job postings like "Must be proficient in harpooning and dog sledding," "BA or BS Degree in either Marketing, Raiding, Qaniujaaqpait, or Public Relations," and "Ability to juggle a variety of tasks in a professional manner."

Day 84 5:59PM

So what's the correct response when asked salary requirements in a down economy? The old business school standby of anchoring high seems like a flawed technique nowadays given that the market is flooded with business school graduates anchoring high and subsequently not getting jobs. Telling them my actual past salary usually doesn't work, probably because I quickly follow it up with "ofcourseeverythingisnegotiablefortherightopportunity." Telling them my true requirements - three hots and a cot - sounds a bit desperate and I'd still need medical and vision (f*** dental).

My copy of Bargaining for Advantage now seems like a cute relic of a time long ago. It does, however, act as an effective prop to make my bookcase seem impressive, right next to Building Strong Brands, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, The Grand Strategy of the Roman Empire: From the First Century AD to the Third, and Twilight (What? The ladies love it).

Maybe I'll go try to get the Street Meat guy down to $4 for the sake of practice. He's a Columbia grad.